Children Need Role Models. Let’s Talk About Sex
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18
3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil.
Have you ever had that wave of paralyzing dread—the one where you fear you’ll come off looking and feeling like a hypocrite if you challenge your child to uphold standards you didn’t keep too well yourself when you were younger?
For many, this feeling is especially acute when talking to children about sexual behavior. I believe this is one of the ways the enemy attempts to silence parents. But don’t allow past failures to prevent you from calling your child to the standard of God’s Word.
After all, every one of us has lied, haven’t we? Yet we still teach our children to tell the truth. When it comes to talking frankly with your preteens and teenagers about what God expects of them sexually, you dare not let the fear of an embarrassing question force you into silence.
Most children won’t ask whether or not you were a virgin prior to marriage. But even if they do—and even if you weren’t—you could answer, “That’s a good question, and someday when you’re an adult, I want to answer you more fully. But for now, that information is off-limits.”
If your child isn’t satisfied and persists in digging further, you may want to admit, “Yes, I made some mistakes I really regret,” but not go into details.
Children need role models, especially in their parents. And it’s better if they don’t know certain things about you when they’re too young to understand.
When your child is grown, in the context of an adult relationship, you can decide how much you want to reveal. But for now, don’t let vivid descriptions become stumbling blocks in their lives and in your discussions.
Keep the subject on God’s standards and on His desire for their welfare and purity. They need to hear from you what God expects of them.
1 Corinthians 10:13 –
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear
Matthew 5:28 –
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
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